The most esteemed Chicago emporium of meat, Paulina Meat Market, is closed for maintenance this week. I braved the palace of pork yesterday, surrounded by Superfan clones, all loading up on saahsidge for their sammiches. As I paid for my sack of meat, one of the kind butchers notified me that they will be closed the 5th through the 11th. His bedside manor was to be admired. He had real care in his voice, like a crack dealer telling his customers he’s going on vacation. Obviously, this news was unsettling, but I think I’ll make it. So, just a heads up to all of my carniverous readers. Luckily, they’ll be back in the saddle just before Valentines Day. Nothing says “I love you” like a stuffed pork chop.